Unfortunately, we can't control situations, the actions of other people or the conflicting emotions we experience as a result. All we can control is how we respond to these situations. Our response determines if we remain stuck or work through the pain and move on with our lives.
When life happens, our first response is to label the situation as good or bad and we typically respond according to the label. The birth of a child is good so we are happy, while the death of a parent is bad so we grieve. However, sometimes the situation isn't so black and white; a child is born with birth defects or the death is after a long painful battle with cancer. Then our emotions are in conflict and it becomes harder to process.
We can also get stuck when a situation is unexpected or difficult to understand; like the loss of a job or the end of a relationship. It's hard to process something that seems unfair or doesn't make sense to us. We get trapped in "Why did this happen?" or "What did I do?" and can't move on to grieving the loss.
Recovering emotionally when s**t happens begins with acceptance. Until we can accept that the situation exists and that it is beyond our control, we struggle to find meaning that may not be there. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. People make choices that hurt us, accidents happen, people we love get sick or die, relationships end … the list goes on and on.
When life happens, it's important to remember that it's not always about us. It's usually more about other people and what they need, their actions and reactions or simply the natural progression of events. We can't control events, other people or outside situations that impact us. What we can control is how we respond. We can choose to be angry, hurt, sad or confused and act out our emotions, or we can accept the situation and move on with our lives.
The future holds the promise of love, adventure, discovery and change. We all have the choice of whether to move toward that future or stay where we are and continue in our pain.
If you or someone you know is stuck in a painful place, consider Life Coaching to create a plan for the future and move beyond the pain. Many coaches offer free initial consultations and affordable rates. Talk to a Certified Life Coach and see if coaching is right for you.