What are these essential skills? They include:
1. Relax - If you are comfortable around others, they will be comfortable around you. If you appear nervous, they will sense it and withdraw. Remember to smile. Relaxed communication with energy and enthusiasm will always provide a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
2. Actively Listen - Stay in the moment and listen carefully to what the other person communicates, both verbally and non-verbally. Listen to what they are not saying. Notice their facial expressions, body postures, tone of voice and rhythm of speech. Avoid making assumptions and planning what you will say before they finish speaking.
3. Be Empathetic - See things from their perspective regardless of your feelings or beliefs. Treat their mistakes as you want them to treat your mistakes. Share their excitement in times of happiness and offer encouragement in times of trouble. Genuine feelings of empathy builds trust and understanding.
4. Respond Carefully - Choose your words and emotions wisely. Measure your emotions based on their mood and needs. Reflect your interpretation of their message back to them. Validate their feelings. Show appreciation and encourage further dialogue. Above all, consider the impact your words and emotions will have on them.
5. Cooperate Fully - Relationships require coordinated action and responses to survive and grow.
6. Be Authentic - Act with integrity and in harmony with your values. Be yourself. Avoid false appearances and false security. Be honest with yourself and with others. Do what you say you will. Ask for what you want and need. Find out what the other person wants and needs.
7. Practice Generosity - Look for and acknowledge the positive qualities of others. Express your appreciation for their life and their contributions. Make them feel valuable and special. Show gratitude and encouragement by your words and attitude. Acknowledge your own qualities and put them into action in the relationship.
Healthy relationships require effort and commitment from both partners. Where essential skills are missing, they must be learned and practiced until they are second nature to both individuals. Remember, these behaviors are just like any other skill, like riding a bicycle or learning to type. They take a while to learn and you won't be very good at first, but if you keep practicing, you will quickly become very good at them.
If you are struggling to learn these skills or want to improve your skills, consider Relationship Coaching. It's a small investment that will improve your relationships and deepen your connection to everyone in your life.