No one likes to fight in a relationship, but most people don't have the tools to deescalate and resolve conflict in a constructive manner. That's where a Relationship Coach in Minnesota can help.
While conflict is not fun or easy to manage, it can and should be dealt with peacefully. Here are a few ideas that can help you manage and resolve conflict:
Follow the Golden Rule - The golden rule states "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This is the most important rule in resolving conflict. If you are unwilling or unable to treat your partner with kindness and respect, your efforts to resolve the conflict will fail. there is no way to resolve conflict if one or both people are critical, contemptuous, avoidant, or defensive.
Focus on Current Issues - Bringing up the past rarely helps resolve a current disagreement. Learn to focus on the current problems and address them one at a time.
Share Positive Feelings - It's tough to work on issues if you don't think the other person likes you. Avoid sharing only the negative stuff. Make sure the other person knows you care about them and why.
Focus on the Problem - The other person is not the problem, so avoid making them feel like they are. Work as a team against the problem, even if the other person did or did not do something that caused the problem. You can love the other person without loving their behavior. If only one person is wrong, both people lose.
Look for Acceptance and Agreement - Make sure your partner knows you want to learn and understand their point of view. If they feel accepted by you, your chances of reaching agreement are much better.
Accept Mutual Blame - It is impossible to argue alone. Anytime you are disagreeing or arguing with your partner, honestly ask yourself what your role in the disagreement is. You have a role in the argument and the sooner you can understand that your point of view is not the only viewpoint an not necessarily the right viewpoint, the sooner you will resolve the conflict.
Be Creative - There are many potential ways to resolve most disagreements. Team up with your partner to identify the solutions that work best for both of you.
Be Patient - It often takes time to find the best solution. If you try something and it doesn't seem to be working, try something new.
Any meaningful relationship will have conflict. It's human nature. Fortunately, you can learn the tools necessary to resolve those conflicts in a healthy and respectful way by using a Relationship Coach in Minnesota. If you can keep from escalating the conflict, avoid thinking in terms of winning and losing, and work together to find solutions, conflicts can actually strengthen your relationship instead of destroying it. Treat each other with love and respect and you will be amazed how quickly conflicts can be resolved.
If you or someone you know is struggling with conflict in a personal relationship, contact Personal Advocates to find a Relationship Coach in Minnesota for help.